After getting some a second opinion from Kathy and Derek, I redrew the middle section of the animatic to try and change the pacing slightly. Mainly I sped it up as much as possible to make it seem a little more frenetic.
Apart from that, I removed a fade early on to keep it closer to a 3 act structure and tried to emphasise the part where he nearly falls off to make it more serious. I added in a reaction to his hand injuries as well after I realised that from the animatic he doesn't have much of a variety of facial expressions beyond slightly bored to terrified, so a depressed one seemed necessary.
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